Moments With The Muses
by HikariTenshiYamiTenshi
Summary: Random conversations with my various muses, not necessarily just YGO. Mentions of Yaoi, Yuri and Het, though nothing explicit.
1. The BakuraUke Discussion

Yami and Yugi sat together, one on the chair and one on the edge of the desk. "She won't like it if we do that...Yami don't..." he whispered as kisses were pressed in a continuous line up his neck, "The crazy fanfiction girl will kill us if we do it on her bed..."

"Hey, at least we'll die happy...me buried in you, pushing into you...making you scream my name..." he wasn't able to finish his speech as he was thrown back in the chair with the shorter straddling his lap and kissing him like nothing before.

---

"£4.50...thanks." I paced out of the little corner shop and glare at my best friend crossing the road then smile as he made a face. Ignoring him I traveled back up when one of my other muses, a very disgruntled Bakura, appeared at my shoulder. "Yeeeeees, milady?"

"I wanted to talk to you...see you have a...lemon scene between myself and my beautiful Ryou...but nowhere in it am I on top," he stated, squeezing my shoulders together as he put an arm around me. He always attempts to intimidate me using that, but it doesn't work, "Now, picture this...me, Ryou, I have him pinned up against the wall, and I'm making him SCREAM my name out."

I looked from side to side to make sure no-one could hear. This was the last thing I needed to be discussing if there were people around. "Can we wait until we get inside to do this? I need to take this and put in the freezer," I indicated to the ice-cream. He sighed and let me go, and we walked back up to the house.

Once the ice-cream was in no danger of melting, I sank into my mum's armchair and indicated to speak. "You were saying?"

Bakura politely took off his shoes before he put his feet up, and sat back. "Well, you have written a lemon scene where Ryou dominates me...and I am wondering why there is no scene where I take Ryou."

"I have implied it on occasions-"

"But never written it, HTYT. I can call you that, can't I?" he asked, sipping at the cold pear cider I'd placed in front of him then offered me the bottle. I politely declined, as in my hand I was already holding the same brand in a different flavour.

"Yes you can call me that. Well, I may just have to change that, wont I?" I smiled and he returned it, then clinked the top of his bottle to mine.

"I hope you do..." we both looked up to the ceiling, where we could both hear a large amount of moaning, "Yami and Yugi."

I shrugged. "Rather my mums room than mine," I commented, taking another sip as another scream of 'YAMI!' and several loud moans shook the house.

The door opened in the background, and Ryou bounded in with a smile, "Hey guys....." the smile faded when he looked to the ceiling, "Are those two having sex again?" Bakura and I looked at one another and answered with a unified 'Yes', and Ryou sat in the taller's lap. "Oh well," he kissed the other, and I smile and shake my head. My muses are a pain in the arse at times.


	2. The Yami Concentration Disturbance

"Yami, you bastard."

"I didn't do anything."

"In my fucking exam."

"I-"

"You made faces at me."

"NOBODY CAN SEE ME!!!" Yami exclaimed, and I turned away from him, shaking my head. I would have been alright, but while I'd been in my exam...being a muse and therefore unnoticeable by anyone else, he was able to get away with following me into my exam room, sitting on my desk and making faces at me through the entire hour and a half.

Yugi looked up from his- my copy of Kerrang! and looked up at him with those devastatingly innocent eyes. "Yami...apologize."

"I'm not gonna-" his voice stopped in his throat as he looked over the face of his fellow muse, who was, to my delight, doing the source of what caused armies to fall and surrender: The Puppy eyes. "....." Yami threw his arms around him and I tapped my foot and cleared my throat, "I'm so so so sorry HikariTenshiYamiTenshi."

"Well, you are forgiven, Yami. Now I know that the ultimate source of your defeat is his puppy eyes, I can use it against you," I smirked and started clicking at the keys on my laptop, and I felt him glare at me. "Oh please, you think that scares me? My mother INVENTED that look."

Just as Yami was about to continue metaphorically chewing my ass... "HTYT. I. Am. Going. To. Fucking. Kill. You."

I slowly turned towards the door and see an absolutely furious, 6ft tall man with blue piercing eyes. "Seto?"

"...I'm an UKE?!"

Oh dear...deja vu...


	3. The Insomnia Influenced Inspiration

I lay back on my sofa, laptop sitting on my lap. It was 4 in the morning and I was restless and unable to switch off.

And my muses were all fast asleep. I looked to where their bodies were collapsed and shook my head. Yugi was lying on top of Yami, both of them snoring lightly. Bakura was splayed out on my bunk with Ryou, who had a habit of talking in his sleep, and Marik and Malik were out like a light on my fold out chair. The entire room was filled with snoozing muses...

I rolled my eyes and sipped on my drink. Disaronno Amaretto and milk...an odd combination but it seemed to help me become drowsy. Just as I was beginning to get sleepy...

"Bakura..."

...

Oh hell no. There was no fucking way they were doing that on my bed. Considering that it's my room, my bed and I should have been sleeping in it, two white haired muses were going to have to shift their pale asses.

I lifted myself up and looked at the pair on the bed...and immediately my heart grew three sizes, and all thoughts of shifting them fell away into the quiet of the room...

Bakura was smiling tiredly and stroking Ryou's hair, while Ryou was now curled up against his chest, almost purring like a cat. And both were still asleep. I slunk back down onto my seat with a silent sigh. Ah what the hell...they could stay there as long as they didn't start getting freaky with each other. I wouldn't have had anywhere to burn the sheets.


	4. The Tea Bashing Subversion

I sat on the sofa, my feet exhausted. I had just spent the day learning how to ride my new motorcycle, and learnt that I had to retake the first part of my compulsory training because of my problems with handling the clutch and throttle.

"HTYT?"

I opened my eyes to blink at a tall girl with shortish brown hair and bright blue eyes that almost sparkled with cheer. "Yeah?"

"Well, I was wondering...could you maybe talk to some of the other authors?" Tea smiled and sat down in the empty seat I proffered to her, and she took the chance to join me in relaxing. I watched at she opened the spare can of Diet Coke I'd left on the table and then indicated for her to continue. "Well...people keep bashing me because apparently I talk about friendship too much...and I'm a threat against Yugi?"

I nodded and sat up a little. "Well, you are one of the only girls in the series, and as you are close to Yugi and have been known to be attracted to our favorite Pharaoh..." I waved my hand to emphasize my point, "You are the 'natural bad guy'."

Tea sighed and slumped down. I kind of understood. Reaching for my laptop, and becoming surprised at how many episodes of Junjou Romantica Bakura had downloaded onto my desktop, I cleared the files to my trash and brought up the Safari window which had already open, on my profile page. Flicking through the fics I had saved, I noted much of them had bashed the young woman who was sitting next to me.

I shook my head. Yep. There really was too much bashing.

Tea looked over my shoulder and pointed to one of my fics, which I let her read while I disappeared off to the kitchen for some Monster Munch, but before I could get through the door I stopped dead and stared.

Lying there in the middle of the floor, his shirt pulled up to his chest and his belly button full of what I think may have been a blackcurrant Sourz, was Yugi, who had a very hungry looking Yami hovering above him.

Yugi's eyes met mine, which had doubled in size and were on the verge of popping out of their sockets. And not knowing what to do, I did what I'd came in to do. I grabbed the Monster Munch, grabbed another can of Coke from the fridge, then turned to the pair on the floor. "Um...make sure you don't have too many of those blackcurrant Sourz. I bought that bottle myself." Then not knowing what the hell to say...I bolted from the room and back to the sofa in the lounge, where Tea was smirking. She had known. "You knew they were in there."

"I just thought, with all the oneshots you write, that the boys getting a little frisky with some foreplay might inspire," the smirk grew and I shook my head.

The authors who bashed her almost constantly had NO idea what she was really like...


	5. The PMS Suffering Punishment

I lie with my head on Ryou's legs, who is currently in my normal spot on the sofa, trying to distract myself from the cramping in my lower stomach.

Yami is lazily hanging with his legs over the side of the armchair on the other side of the room and he looks to me and says just the wrong thing... "PMS cannot hurt as much as you say it does..."

I look up to my oblivious muse and see that both Yugi and Ryou are wincing, and Tea is just as infuriated as I am. "...not that bad?" I get up, a pillow hanging from one hand, and shadow over him looking as if I'm about to explode. He shrinks down in the chair, "Alright, my dear muse..." I close my eyes and concentrate for a moment, then open them when I hear Ryou's muffled laughing.

Yami looks down at his chest in horror, where it looks as if he'd just had a set of implants put in underneath his tank top. I decide to be fairly merciful... "You are going to go through every tiny bit of pain I do." Merciful, my ass.

Meanwhile Yugi takes in Yami's now very feminine appearance and smirks, and what comes from his lips makes me shocked at what Hikaris can come out with: "You know Yami, that outfit you're wearing...that would look a hell of a lot better on my floor."

Ryou bursts out laughing and falls face first into the pillow on Tea's lap, and she giggles into his hair, trying to stop laughing for her friend's sake. Yami appears...bewildered, then gets up and drags Yugi from the room, leaving us in hysterical giggles.

What truly gets me, however, is that two seconds later Yugi pokes his head around the door. "Um, HikariT?"

I raise an eyebrow at the nickname, not really being a fan of it. "HikariT?"

"Yeah, tryin' it out. Um, so, Yami being a girl...it won't have any repercussions if we...you know...will it? He won't get pregnant, will he?" he looks worried and I feel merciful on him, so I shake my head.

"No, no pregnancy for either of you. And it's not permanent either," I reassure, and he smiles, mouths a thank-you, then bolts up the stairs like a whippet with an ass-full of rockets.

Ryou, Tea and I look at each other and smile, and wait patiently for-

"GOD YUGI! THEREOHMYGODTHERE! OH MY GOOOOOOOD!"

...THAT.

---

"HikariTenshiYamiTenshi?"

I turn from cooking my pasta and smile at Yami, who looks extremely windswept and satisfied, clasping my old silk robe around the now curved form... "Yeah?"

"You didn't tell me that a female orgasm feels that good!" he, or should I say she...smiles at me and leans against the counter.

I shake my head, "I couldn't have told you, but I'll bear that in mind in the future. All I know is that women don't have a refractory period, so they can have multiple orgasms in quick succession." The gender-swapped muse practically floats out of the room and I mix in the sauce to my food, and only one thing sticks in my mind.

And all the while I wonder if Yami will actually want to go back to normal. And where his punishment went in all this...


	6. The Embarrassing Explanation Episode

As said by Dr. Percival Cox, in the television sitcom 'Scrubs', 'In the immortal words of Daffy Duck, I demand that you shoot me now'.

The punishment I put Yami under turned into pleasure for him when Yugi screwed him senseless for several hours. While Yami had been given the body of a girl.

You see, I'd been experiencing some...cramps in my lower stomach due to...ugh, surely you can guess. And when Yami had said they couldn't have been as bad as they were, I decided he should become a girl for a little while. And I hadn't changed him back yet.

I suddenly smirked and Ryou backed away from me. He knows as well as I do that the smirk on my lips meant I was up to something. And no good could come of it.

I closed my eyes and blinked them back open, then timed by the second on my watch...5...4...3...2...1-

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!" ...0.

Ryou looked at me with that reprimanding glare that I knew wasn't serious, and then giggled with me as we heard another feminine scream we knew was from the muse we all know and adore.

---

"...I don't get what is happening."

Yugi looked at Yami incredulously and I did the same. Eventually I opened my mouth. I had to ask. "Yami, do you even know what PMS is?"

"When a girl gets cranky?" he-she shrugged. I turned to Yugi, to find myself glancing at an empty seat. Yugi...had bolted. Yami tugged at my arm again and I swiveled back to face the gender-switched muse, "Why am I..." he grimaced, "bleeding?"

I was going to murder Yugi.

---

Half an hour later I came back downstairs, Yami with tears in her eyes and holding her stomach. I was feeling bad for doing this but maybe when he was back to normal he'd be a little more sensitive to when Tea and I have that little problem.

I settled him down on the couch and gave him some painkillers, then grabbed Yugi, dragged him into the kitchen and had him pinned to the countertop. "Yugi Mutou, you are the official human depiction of a rat bastard."

"What the hell did I do?" he asked, terrified of what I'd do to him.

"Do you have any idea what it's like trying to explain the concept of menstruation to a several millennia old gender-swapped spirit of a pharaoh!?" my voice dropped to a whisper to stop myself yelling at my spiky haired muse, "Not only is it embarrassing but I had to teach him..." I winced, "what went where. It might have been a little easier if you hadn't done a runner!"

I'd had to use an old science textbook, and actual 'objects' to explain what was going on while Yami's cramps affected him. My cheeks were burning red and Yugi's eyes were fearful. I calmed a little and passed Yugi a glass of water. "Take this through to Yami, I gave him some pills for the pain but he needs some water to take them." With a final clump around the head with my hand, I let him go with a sigh. Later that evening, I was turning Yami back. It was enough dealing with several muses, but when one of them is experiencing his first...visit from mother nature, it becomes a nightmare.


	7. The Kill Steal Payback

Yami flicked his finger on the right trigger and to my horror, headshotted the final person on the opposing team. "Whoops, sorry about the brains!"

"Stop quoting Baird. That was that guy's kill," I seethed with rage. You see, generally in Gears Of War 2 or in an online game in general, when a character is down and crawling away to try and save themselves, the polite code of conduct is whoever downed him gets to finish him off. I make a few exceptions like if I am too far away or I'm too busy with other enemies, or I get downed myself, where I proceed to tell my teammate to pick him- or herself up my kill instead. Unfortunately for Yami, he stole my friend's kill when he was right next to the guy. And since it's on MY gamer card, I look bad for it. "You know the commandments."

"There are no commandments."

"Unofficial commandments, dumbass!" I yelled, "Thou shalt not steal kills like a noob!"

Yugi looked up from my DS, which I said he could play, and shook his head. "Yami, you NEVER break the sacred commandments of Gears 2. There's also, 'Thou shalt not Chainsaw excessively,' and, 'Thou shalt not steal all the ammunition crates in Horde'."

Ryou nodded, "It's sacrilegious."

Yami shook his head and rolled his eyes and while he went to the bathroom, I formulated a plan, took control and messaged the team an apology and a plot for revenge...

---

"Revive me!"

...

"A little help here!?"

...

"REVIVE ME!"

...

I smirked as Yami was assaulted with the shotgun and dropped to the floor dead, then got extremely pissed off as the guy whose kill he stole shotgunned the last guy in the back of the head and won the game. I smirked and observed as Yami got very angry.

"What the HELL!? That guy was RIGHT next to me and he didn't bother to revive me!"

Yugi snickered and Ryou giggled, and after a moment he twigged. I shrugged, knowing the rest of the team could hear us and smiled. "Think of this as payback for stealing his kill." In the background I heard the team laugh at his rather vulgar protests and my answer, and grabbed the microphone back. "Thanks for the favour, boys."

"Anytime, buddy!" came the american accent of my fellow teammate, and a chorus of other voices. I love playing against and with these guys; they still can't believe I'm a girl who actually plays Gears Of War...or Bioshock...or Red Faction: Guerrilla...

I don't understand why Yami was so angry anyway. It was my gamer card that was being used.

I patted him on the shoulder and watched him sulk, then took control of the next round, proceeding to lose at the last minute by being hit by a grenade.

I wouldn't have tried to kill Yami later on if he hadn't pointed out it was my own...


	8. The Restful Night Event

It's times like this that I enjoy the most.

I'm sat on my bunk, laptop balanced on my thighs, my muses either asleep or engrossed in their own quiet activities.

Once again, I'm on fanfiction. And Tea, who's sat next to me listening to my iPod, picks up on her name on a profile. "I saw my name, let me read." With a sigh, I relent and scroll back up the page.

While she's doing that, I take a moment to glance around my darkened room. Yami and Yugi are quite contentedly lying on my sofa, and after I showed them the amazing crossover that Natoya is writing of YGO and The Crow, they decided they wanted to watch it all over again.

Marik and Malik, Joey and Seto, and a slightly sleepy Mokuba are engrossed in a five-way duel. And since Mokuba has been adjusting his deck...he's kicking everyone's ass, even if he's half asleep, the poor little bugger. I tilt my head to the side. Shame he's only my muse, too young and a figment of my imagination, because Mokie is a real sweetheart.

Bakura is, for once, completely calm. Indeed, I've never seen him that relaxed. A pair of earphones are trailing from his ears. I indicate to Ryou, who's sat at my desk playing on the old home PC. "Ryou, what's your ill-conceited boyfriend listening to? Because seriously, I've never seen him without a frown on his face." It's true. He always looks evil when he smiles. But here he is, his forehead relaxed, and his lips tilted into a gentle smile.

Ryou leans and looks at the screen of my older iPod, the one I use when I go down the beach so I don't wreck mine, and leans back up. "Katie Melua, The Closest Thing To Crazy."

I hear a clang on the floor, and look down to see that Yami's jaw is now on the carpet, whereas his face is still where it was before. Yugi looks mildly surprised.

The whole lot of us fall silent in bewilderment that the Thief would listen to something so calm, and it takes a full few minutes for us to recover.

Well, at least Yami isn't a girl again.


	9. The Writer's Block Bickering

In the onslaught of insomnia and a severe writer's block that's left me incapable of writing anything with substance, I sit on my bed at 7 in the morning with tired eyes and a dry throat after failing to sleep, trying to write part of my collaborative fanfiction, while the fire alarm malfunctions in the background and cheeps sharply every 30 seconds.

I growl at it quietly as I hear my mother get up, grumbling at the cats and getting ready for work.

I can't really think that clearly, but Yami still appears next to me, a mug of hot Ribena in his hands and curled up in MY duvet while I shiver. I glare in his direction, "What?"

"Nothin'," he replies, but his eyes don't shift from the screen of my laptop, "Why you using a different word processor?"

"Distractions." At my reply his eyebrows disappear under his bangs, and I glare at him even more sharply, my fingers moving automatically as I touch-type even with my eyes off the keyboard, "This one I can just have a blank black background and white letters, and it helps me think. Couldn't do that on my other one."

He shrugs at me and sips at the hot drink, completely nonchalant...too nonchalant. I have to inquire again, "What, Yami?"

"I was just gonna point out that your battery is about to die."

I know that isn't it.

My laptop is plugged in. "Seriously, what?"

Finally he looks at me, and for a moment I'm actually a little fearful for my own sanity. His eyes are glowing red in the dark of the room, what little light is coming off the screen is highlighting that his shadow magic is flaring, and his lips are contorted back into a fierce snarl. "You can't stop torturing me and Yugi, can you?"

I look to my browser window, where I already have reviews for my story I put up earlier, and smile at him apologetically, hoping that he won't try and kill me (again). "I can't help it, Yami. It was an idea that popped into my head and I had to get it down. It was a good one, and maybe it will help me get through this damned block so I can write some good stuff again." He looks as if he might slap me... "Some Puzzleshipping fluff. Maybe something hot between you and Yugi?"

He's sold. Finally his magic dissipates and he leaves me in peace, flipping off the side of my bunk with a now empty mug and a grin, joining Yugi's form to sleep on the sofa under my bed. Which leaves me with an open document...and a still heavily weighing block upon my writing abilities...


	10. The Closet Transvestite Conundrum

Poking my head through the door, I glance from side to side. Oh boy...I'm in major trouble.

Immediately there is a Pharaoh in my face. "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?" Yami yells, spraying a fine layer of saliva over my face. I wipe my hand over my cheek and my face contorts as I feel tiny chunks of food there.

One of my three cats glances up at the spiky haired man, and I slowly blink and tilt my head, showing him my hand. "I did not care for that."

"I don't care. You haven't spoken to us in...forever!" To emphasize his point, he flings his arms to the side, and accidentally whacks Kaiba in the face, who for some reason is on the sofa under my bunk and is messing around on my laptop with an evil expression on his face.

I shake my head. "I've had a distinct lack of inspiration, work to do in preparation for university, oh and some son of a bitch decided pushing over my motorbike and running was hilarious, so I've been talking to the police about that," I see his face drop and guilt fill his expression. "So I've been a little busy."

I look at the room around me. When the hell had my room become this messy? My desk, which now houses my TV, is covered in crap almost to the point where it obstructs access to my Xbox, you can't even reach my bed, and my gaming chair is covered in clothes that need washing. "Yami...I know I'm responsible for the majority of this mess, but I did not take all of these clothes out of my wardrobe."

He freezes and all of my muses look up at the same time to glance at the Pharaoh's red cheeks. Yugi's lips tilt into a smirk and he stands from my small window sill and walks up to his boyfriend. "Yami, it's alright to wear her clothing while she's out the house."

"Really?" He looks up with an eagerness that I've never seen there before.

"NO!" Yugi laughs and walks out of my room and down the stairs. His chuckles can be heard all the way out of the front door and down the path.

Kaiba continues to snicker...I think it's time to reveal the secret he doesn't know I know. "I don't think YOU have any place to laugh Seto. I know for a fact you dressed up as a french maid for Joey because he said he liked the idea of you tickling him with a feather duster."

Suddenly all eyes are on Seto, and all I can think as I step happily out the door with a bounce in my step is that I'm going to pay for this in the future...


	11. The Laptop Soda Threat

How in the name of hell did I get into this position?

Oh yes, that's right...Seto as the french maid.

I wince as I'm held back by Yami and Bakura as Seto holds something above my laptop- oh god it's a glass of Coke... "Seto, please don't."

"You haven't exactly been nice to us lately. You don't write as much, and we feel forgotten, and when you do write you put us through all this torture!" He exclaims, the glass tilting. My eyes widen and I freeze in my struggle to get free as some of it splashes, a tiny pool that luckily misses the keyboard and the trackpad and just rests on the warm aluminium of the top case like a caramel coloured puddle.

"Seto, I swear, I am working on a Gears Of War crossover fic with you guys in. You're a minor character but a complete badass!" I yell at him, and he looks thoughtful for a moment. I'm just hoping he spares my laptop...

Thankfully, after a tense minute of wondering whether he's going to destroy the only working computer I have, Seto places the glass down on my desk and picks up my XBox controller. It's an Elite, so it's black, just like the console itself. I wonder where the hell he's going with this.

He walks over and waves the object in my face. "You see this? You're not getting it back until you finish that Gears fic." Then he charged out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Yami and Bakura release me from their hold and I point to the white controller that I've been using on my XBox for the last 5 months, sitting next to my copy of Red Dead Redemption, my newest game. "He does know that I have two controllers, right?"

We stand in complete silence and Bakura shakes his head. Oh Seto...you're not quite as observant as you think.


	12. The Lemon Lacking Lark

I stand in front of a mirror smoothing my skirt out. I'm trying to figure out whether this skirt makes my legs look good or bad...

"Good morning Annu," I hear the voice in the doorway...Oh crap.

"Yami, how are you?"

"Oh good good...considering you haven't posted anything about in fricking months."

Yes, I haven't posted for months. But when you're trying to take a university course from the comfort of your own home...you can't exactly find time to write if you want to find the motivation to do coursework.

"Yami, there are people writing hundreds of stories about you and Yugi in the throes of ecstacy...why can't you just get off to that?" I retort sarcastically, deciding that the skirt does look alright.

"Annu, I don't need stories to do that. I can get off with only the thought of Yugi," Yami smirks, then realises what he has said and coughs uncomfortably, "It's about you forgetting us."

"I swear, you guys are my prime fan-fiction focus," I reassure. And it's true. While I dabble in other fandoms, Yami and Yugi will always be my OTP.

"Well, you'd better find some time to write. There is an activity myself and Yugi have to describe to you in detail."

Oh boy...


	13. The New Muses Mess Up

Ever since my muses have expanded, I have rapidly been running out of space in the flat. My room, despite barely having 6 foot of spare floor space, had become the habitat of one former pharaoh and his vessel. My living room is commonly covered with the varying coloured bodies of Yamis and Hikaris, and dodging them and trying not to step on the cat is near impossible.

THEN the Tales of the Abyss muses came. Now my home is the habitat of 6 familiar party members, one of which can't grasp the concept of a camera, and one which doesn't know that the Xbox controller is meant to be used with analog sticks at the bottom.

As if speaking of them summons them, a bespectacled face peers around the doorway. I glance up at the 35 year old bishonen and scrutinise his expression. "Jade...what did you do?"

"Why must you assume that I have to have done something to come see you, my friend?" The tone catches me off-guard. The last time Jade's voice sounded like that was the time I came home from my buddy's house after staying there overnight and finding the kitchen covered in carrot peel and smelling like an explosion had gone off in a cumin factory. Everything had a hint of cayenne pepper for a week afterwards.

"Jade."

"You didn't like that blue rectangular thing did you? Shiny, two little things on one side, a weird grey card in there?" I froze.

"Jade...what did you do to my 3DS?"

For the first time I see the man nervous, truly terrified. "There was a small incident involving fonons and it might, just might, need to be retrieved from upstairs."

Darting out of my seat, I brush past my muse and charge into my room, glancing at the ceiling, completely bemused.

In the white plaster, from the floor above me, right next to the freshly fixed hole, I can see two eyes staring at me, eyes that belong to my upstairs neighbours... "Afternoon..." I force a smile and wave, and my 3DS is dropped through the hole, into my outstretched arm. "I swear, sir, this is the third and last time..."

From my bed, Yami, who was reading one of my books for the entire event, looked at me and smiles. "In his defense, at least he didn't wreck your Xbox."

"Yes..." I swivel to face Jade, having followed me into the room, "But if he's fucked up my 3DS," I grab hold of his lapels and pull him so close I can smell cologne on his skin, see the terror in his eyes, feel the fear radiating from his skin, "His life will come to a very abrupt and extremely unnatural end."

I hear Yami chuckle. "What do you have in mind?"

"His nipples, jump leads and couple of thousand volts of direct current?" I smile maliciously and let go of the colonel, who might be smiling but I can tell that he's shaking in his boots. "Be careful, Jade."

I leave both of them in the room, happy with the knowledge that while Jade is an older muse...it doesn't make him any less susceptible to the wrath of an authoress.


	14. The Carnal Camera Commotion

Ah, I haven't had a night like this in a while. A night where I literally cannot sleep. My eyes refuse to close, my brain won't switch off and I'm left lying here with an open word processor document and a mind which won't let me write much.

I feel something flick at my head, and I glance over to where Bakura is balling up tiny bits of paper and flicking them around the room. "You're vacuuming those up, Bakura."

He moves to a sitting position from the slouch he was in against the wall by my bed and smiles a little, his teeth showing like fangs. "I have a bone to pick with you."

"Oh god, what have I done now? Forgot to mention you in a while? Too much Tales Of The Abyss, not enough Tales of Bakura? What?" I breathe, exasperated.

Bakura looks at me, a little bewildered. "Um...actually I was just going to ask why there's no dark chocolate left when I had half a bar in the kitchen."

I grin. "Yeah...I ate that."

"Damn you. I'm craving it right now!" He whines.

I smirk to myself and continue to go about my business. Until...

"Hikari-T?" The voice of one of my new muses, Jade, reaches my ears and I look up. I'm not quite sure if I've forgiven him for the 3DS incident yet... "Did you see where Luke went?"

"Last place I saw him...outside in the communal garden with Tear. Don't you dare interrupt their little romantic moment, Colonel," the threat causes him to close his mouth, and for the first time since striking up this little conversation I notice the diary in his hand. "He forget to fill in today's entry?"

"Yes," Jade sits on the edge of my bed, apparently not uncomfortable with the fact he's sitting on my wriggling foot, "And I also wanted to point out that the fancy non-fon-powered item that takes those instant pictures-"

"A camera?" Bakura suggests. He's gone back to flicking bits of paper all over my room, and at Yami and Yuugi sleeping on my floor.

"Yes, well, I would like to point out that I heard some rather odd noises this afternoon, so I went to look in your room and noticed the gentleman sitting next to you-" he points to Bakura, who suddenly seems uncomfortable... "And that polite young man who looks like his innocent doppelganger engaging in a rather," Jade clears his throat a little and blushes, "Carnal activity, on your sheets, and taking some rather interesting photographs at the same time..."

I stare at the necromancer's red eyes, trying to figure out how to react. I'm sat on the sheets where Bakura and Ryou did the nasty. And they took snapshots of it...with my camera.

...Oh god...

I leapt up from my seated position on my bed, seeing Jade realise where my foot was and jump up, stumbling over the sleeping bodies on the small amount of floor space. I glare at Bakura. "Thief...you have 5 seconds to get to work on changing my sheets, or I will end your life in the next 10."

As if he had a red hot poker jammed somewhere painful, he bolts off to get the clean sheets. I look to Jade, taking in the smile and the returned look of complete nonchalance, and glare. "You waited until now to tell me they had used my camera during sex?...Jade, I put that thing to my eye!"

"I thought it might put you off." With those words, he disappears down the hallway, humming to himself, and I am left standing, waiting for my sheets to be replaced.

These muses get worse and worse every day.


End file.
